Why Did It Happen To Me?
by November Rising
Summary: The poor woman didn't even know who he was until her pregnancy.


**A new style of writing for me. Because God knows I need to expand my horizons.**

Sometimes when I'm alone in the house, I'll creak my way up the stairs to the attic. I keep my old journal in there. The pages are frayed and yellowed at the edges, the entries from forty years ago scribbled into their pages in ball-point pen. The pages are well-worn from when I flick through them, poring over the memories of that day and the period after when I discovered and lost my connection to the other world that coexists with us, just below the surface.

_**May 8**__**th**__**, 1989**_

_Dear Diary,_

_Saw him today. _

_Chelsea decided to unplug my alarm clock, mean I was very late for my evaluation. After dashing across campus, I just made it to class. _

_Of course, being the bad-luck kind of girl I am, I happened to run into my evaluator. And fall over. But it was almost worth it, because Holy Crap._

_I don't remember much. Only that he was sandy-blond, had very white teeth, and had the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen._

_He helped me up, smiling and nearly blinding me with his teeth. He seemed to exude charisma and something... else. Certainly, an interesting individual._

_**May 11**__**th**__**, 1989**_

_Dear Diary,_

_Happy 21__st__ birthday to me! Had a great day with my family and Chelsea. Dad's all but paid for my medical school education now, pretty much ensuring I get an internship, and then hopefully an MD. Had a surprise call, too. It was my evaluator from school, the one I ran into. Literally. He said he wanted to meet me for coffee. I don't know why, but the thought of seeing him again makes me... happy._

_**May 13**__**th**__**, 1989**_

_Dear Diary,_

_Had coffee with 'Apollo', today. Yep, that's what he says his name is. But that's not the most important thing! We had coffee today, and he's turned out to be a really interesting guy. Funny, smart, and God knows he's good-looking. And he kissed me! It was right outside the apartment, and it was so... sweet, somehow. Like he might actually care who I am. After being treated the way I was by my last boyfriend, it's surprising. He says he wants to have dinner with me on Friday night. _

_I wonder where all this is going..._

_**May 17**__**th**__**, 1989**_

_Chelsea doesn't like him. Says he's a player. No evidence, she can just feel it. He's assured me he's not, but I'll be on guard anyway. He likes me, he says. He's always been attracted to smart girls, he says, though he doesn't look old enough to say those things. Says he wants to work on our relationship._

_I can't deal with a relationship, though. Simply don't have the time. Finals are coming up, and I need to buckle down. In fact, I should be studying now. But I think I'll go order some Chinese and watch comedy re-runs with Chelsea. Have learned to set my alarm in at least three places so that she can't get to them all. I love her, but she's a pain in the ass sometimes._

_**September 22**__**nd**__**, 1989**_

_I'm done. Medical school is finished, and I'm well on my way to being a doctor. Passed with flying colours, thank God. Have been talking to Apollo more and more lately. Another kiss. Chelsea has a grudging respect for him for sticking the distance. _

_It's funny, but I still don't know who he is, really. He says he has a large family, and that they're very important. I also don't know if he's my boyfriend or not, officially. Shall have to ask him next time I see him._

_**May 4**__**th**__**, 1990**_

_Started my internship today. Basically means I run around after the full doctors. Don't mind though. It's kind of fun. Pity it doesn't pay more._

_Apollo (who still hasn't told me his real name) is taking me out to dinner tonight. He officially is my boyfriend, though I usually only see him at night. Pity really, but he says he really is important enough to warrant that. _

_I think I love him, Diary. I really do. And it's killing me. Because I don't think I can keep seeing him only at night, only at a few select places. I hope he's not leading me on. If there's one thing I won't be able to bare, it's that._

_**July 1**__**st**__**, 1990**_

_Oh my God. Apollo proposed. He told me he loves me. I said yes. My plans went out the window. Didn't know what else to do. I'm only twenty-three, but I'm head over heels for him, and I can't picture myself with anyone else._

_**September 29**__**th**__**, 1990**_

_The wedding's tomorrow. We're at some beautiful place in Greece, which he says his family owns. The smell of grapes is on the air, and I have this amazing room looking out on to the terraces where the wedding's going to take place tomorrow._

_I'm putting my everything into making this relationship work. Apollo better do the same, because I'm giving up almost as much as I'm gaining._

_**November 8**__**th**__**, 1990**_

_I'm pregnant. With Apollo's child. And now he tells me his big secret. According to him, he's _the _Apollo, a fucking Greek God! When I didn't believe him, he showed me what he could do. He healed the scar on my hand from the fence post with just a touch of his finger. And I'm bearing his child. But I should have known, really. There was always something _other_ about him._

_Apollo, the God of the Sun, Medicine, Archery, the Oracle, Homosexuality, Truth, Poetry and the Arts._

_And I'm having his child._

_What have I done?_

_**December 15**__**th**__**, 1990**_

_Had an ultrasound today. My baby is a boy. He's perfectly healthy, but what have I doomed him to? Apollo told me about these children, these 'demigods'. Do we honestly have the right to condemn children to a life of running and fighting against monsters? Do we?_

_**September 4**__**th**__**, 1991**_

_My son was born today. Matthew Apollo Douglas. He inherited my name, but Apollo's looks. I can see that even now. And yet, holding this baby in my arms, and having him smile at me, I can't help but love him. Even if I'm sure of what will happen in the future._

_**February 17**__**th**__**, 1992**_

_Apollo didn't come home today. He isn't ever coming home again. A note appeared on my bed. He said that he was sorry, but he couldn't see me or our son anymore. Olympus was just too important._

_Chelsea was right. He was a player, and I was used._

_Matthew is crying now. Despite my feelings for his father, I love my child, and I will do all in my power to make those scant few years of his childhood relatively normal._

_**September 4**__**th**__**, 1993**_

_My son is two today, and looking more and more like his father every day. Except for my eyes. He's inherited them. A hazel colour with green, blue and brown all mixed in together. _

_He's energetic too. Taller than most of his friends as well. And just the other day, I saw him touch a lizard in the garden. Its tail grew back and it ran away as he laughed and clapped. It's starting. Apollo's genes are beginning to take hold._

I always skip over the next six or so years. They're just depressed scribblings about my heartache and despair over my son as he's growing up.

_**July 1**__**st**__**, 2002**_

_My son is now eleven, and he's off to camp. A card was sitting on the dining table yesterday morning. It was in flowery script, and it was hard to read, even for me. But it was the address for Camp Half-Blood, the one Apollo talked about when he was still with me. _

_I know it's the place I have to send him. It's amazing we haven't had a serious attack yet, though we've come close. And he's developed the ADHD Apollo said he would, though oddly not the dyslexia. Maybe he's just lucky. _

_Matthew is so serious for an eleven year old, though he has a lot of friends. I've never lied to my son about his heritage, haven't seen the point. He knows exactly who his father is. He knows about all the Gods and Goddesses. _

_I've made him promise to write occasionally, and to come home during the year. It's the best I can do._

"Mom, you here?"

I put my diary back in its box and walk back down the stairs to greet Matthew. My son visits at times, now that he's fully grown and able to look after himself. He looks exactly like his father, but with my eyes. I like that he has that. My son connects me to that world. And though I'll never admit it, I like that he connects me to Apollo.


End file.
